> A young second generation Indian in the US was asked by his mother to
> explain the significance of "Diwali" to his younger brother, this is
> how he went about it...
> "So, like this dude had, like, a big cool kingdom and people liked
> him. But, like, his step-mom, or something, was kind of a bitch, and
> she forced her husband to, like, send this cool-dude, he was Ram, to
> some national forest or something...
> Since he was going, for like, something like more than 10 years or
> so... he decided to get his wife and his bro along... you know...so
> that they could all chill out together. But Dude, the forest was
> reeeeal scary shit... really man...they had monkeys and devils and
> shit like that. But this dude, Ram, kicked with darts and bows and
> arrows... so it was fine.
> But then some bad gangsta boys, some jerk called Ravan, picks up his
> babe (Sita) and lures her away to his hood. And boy, was our man, and
> also his bro, Laxman, pissed... all the gods were with him... So
> anyways, you don't mess with gods. So, Ram, and his bro get an army of
> monkeys... Dude, don't ask me how they trained the damn monkeys...
> just go along with me, ok...
> So, Ram, Lax and their monkeys whip this gangsta's ass in his own
> hood... Anyways, by this time, their time's up in the forest... and
> anyways... it gets kinda boring, you know... no TV or malls or shit
> like that.
> So,they decided to hitch a ride back home... and when the people
> realize that our dude, his bro and the wife are back home... they
> thought, well, you know, at least they deserve something nice... and
> they didn't have any bars or clubs in those days... so they couldn't
> take them out for a drink, so they, like, decided to smoke and shit...
> and since they also had some lamps, they lit the lamps also...so it
> was pretty cooool... you know with all those fireworks....
> Really, they even had some local band play along with the fireworks...
> and you know, what, dude, that was the very first, no kidding.., that
> was the very first music-synchronized fireworks... you know, like the
> 4th of July stuff, but just, more cooler and stuff, you know.
> And, so dude, that was how, like, this festival started."
> The mother fainted..